Q: As a mom when do you make time for yourself to make sure your own glass stays full before filling everyone else’s glass? When is it alright to give yourself permission to be alone or away?
A: Self-care is a priority for parents with children of any age that are still in the home. A mom should not feel guilty for taking time to attend to her spiritual, physical, and emotional needs. However, small children require continuous supervision and there are times we sacrifice self-care for the necessities of parenting. With that said, if adult needs are ignored, over time relationships will become strained and problematic. Practical ways to attend to personal needs are to use nap times for your own rest or work. Hire a teenager to play with your children while you retreat to another part of the house. If you set this up on a routine basis, then you can be more organized in your day-to-day activities knowing the hours you do and do not have time to yourself. Take turns keeping a friend’s children. You can trade weeks and give each other a break. Plan a lady’s night out and take a cooking class, painting class or join a book club. Exercise is a top priority to keeping yourself mentally and physically healthy. Most gyms have childcare, so this is another way to give yourself a break, while at the same time improving your health. Have an early and consistent bedtime for children. Use the evenings to meet your personal needs and spend time with your spouse. For your birthday or other gift giving holidays, ask family and close friends for gift cards or babysitting money. Read blogs (like Lisa Lou’s!) to see how other mothers are coping. Weekly playdates with moms can give you needed adult human connection as well as educate you on how other mothers are handling the same issues. We all learn from each other!
Patti Hatton, MA, LPC